The Tea Party: “Seven Circles” (2004)

Five years on, and I’m still at a loss to explain the Tea Party’s intentions with this album. When you consider that some members greeted the album’s release by talking up plans for the next album in interviews, and that the band splintered the following year, I think we have to consider the possibility that the Tea Party were at a loss to explain their intentions with this album, too.

This much is certain: Seven Circles is a terrifying journey into the world of contemporary Canadian butt-rock, soulless ballads, and goblins. “Stargazer” is a Toyota commercial pretending to be a rock song. “Oceans,” a big-hearted tribute to a deceased friend-of-the-band, is undone by maudlin overproduction; “The Watcher” lacks any such good intentions but damns the torpedoes with double-strength mawkishness. Hell, “One Step Closer Away” even finds Jeff Martin channelling his inner Scott Stapp, for Chrissakes.

Inadvertently, “Empty Glass” is the most revealing song in the set — a heartless litany of Bowie references that climaxes with Martin repeating “We’re losing our souls” like a mantra. It’s really hard not to believe him.